Best of the Vent / Living

I heard that many teenage boys in Atlanta had to exchange the pants they got for Christmas because they were the right size.

I am an animal lover, but, when I see all the newly homeless living in their RVs, cars, or tents, it is hard to believe they are needy when I see their DOGS and CELLPHONES !

If Cynthia McKinney wants to deliver relief supplies to a dangerous, poverty stricken area, why doesn't she start with Detroit?

You know you are a real Southerner when you call the Perimeter Hwy. 'TOOTY-5'.

Hey Ladies, how about some truth in advertising while you are wearing those shorts with cute sayings like 'juicy' and 'yummy'. Was Wal-Mart out of 'skanky' and 'chubby'?

Everyone, I can explain this economic meltdown in a few words; The bills have come due. It is time to pay up for all of our high living for the past 3 decades. It is that simple.

I am calling for Atlantans to stage a 'Go to work Straight day' next week.

This assault on the President, was it the work of a shoeicide bomber, was he the sole assailant, or did they work in pairs? I'll be here all week.

Let me recap......Thongs for women--good. Thongs for men.....bad.

I read that the Octomom fired her baby nurses. Why didn't the family keep the nurses and fire the Mom??

When I was young,I had big ears and was teased every day, even by the girls. Now the women say Obama is sexy? Ladies, will you let men know whenever you change the rules?

The Forever Stamp. Isn't that also known as a tattoo?

When a woman tells me that it is not necessary to open the door for her, I tell her that I am doing it because my Mother wants me to.

I must be a genius, I have been boycotting Kanye for years.

Reports say that Obama is having trouble quitting smoking. How about trying his own words. 'CHANGE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN', and 'YES YOU CAN'.

Hey Kanye, come to the CMAs and try that.

Oprah, pound for pound, TV's best talk show host.

Man, that Donald Trump really has that 'Flock of Seagulls' hair style going on !

I bought a hat like Aretha had on Tuesday, and wear it around the house. I swear my TV reception is better!

Elizabeth Edwards said that John's affair made her want to throw up. Instead of throwing something up, why didn't she throw someONE out?

Jon on 'Jon and Kate plus 8' better straighten up. Does he have any idea how much child support will be for 8 kids?

If your child doesn't have health insurance, but has an iPod, a computer, or a cel phone, you are a BAD parent.

Patti LaBelle criticizing the Civic Center while on stage? Sounds like someone needs a New Attitude.

Man, I have celebrity funeral overload. This has been one HARD summer!

If any Hollywood producers read this Vent, it is time for another REALLY good Zombie movie.